Malinda channelFrom West Covina
Brandi, 30s, Brooklyn, NY I like dating bi men specifically because there are no hang-ups with gender identity. He might decline, of course, which is all well and good, but he may respond positively and the appreciation he feels might even make you closer. Conversely, you may be blindly willing to continue in pursuing a relationship with this man, without sitting down and trying to pre-empt any issues that may arise because of it in the future. It is a form of sexual identification and gender, and for some, the term even falls into a larger social and political stance. Most straight men I've met are still very invested in how they are seen and how their partners reinforce their heterosexuality.
Of course, I am not unaware that being transgender has made doing this work somewhat easier for me than it might be for a woman raised from birth to view romance as a passive process. Ground rules would have to be drawn up to stop anyone getting hurt, though, and safe sex must always be insisted upon. A lot of men say they want that in a woman, but that has certainly not been my experience! I just think many straight men have never had to think about their role before, and even for straight people, thinking about the kind of partner they want to be should be mandatory.